My dog always tells me to be humble. You should see his eyes, always on the verge of crying. He would cry, I think, if he didn’t already know that no one would notice. It’s amazing what assumptions can do for you. But he’ll just look at me. He does it all the time, I like to think that he knows I understand. Truly understanding someone is more rewarding than being understood. But then, I don’t know what being understood feels like.

Anyways, my dog has this look that always reminds me to be humble. I need that. We all need to be reminded of our humility. But most people get this confused with criticism and rejection. The fires that rejection stirs in people’s bellies can only be quenched by ambitions of stars. At moments when I’m so high that I stand on the edge of falling, it’s my dog who reminds me that I never left the ground.

It’s hard for people to really get, because most people wouldn’t think about these things too much. For those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of our attachments, reality sings in strange melodies indeed.

It’s weird (to put it in an understandable context) to see someone you have seen grow up and grown up with near the end, whatever that end may mean. It’s kinda hard to put it, but it’s like watching a part of yourself go. A part that always lived in them, which only you could see. It’s always hard to see another being suffer, specially when it’s seen you suffer in it’s part.

For his part, my dog has been my sole confidant for most of my life. So I put a lot of myself into him. I never really thought much about change and growth, I was blindly following my own storm clouds. It was my dog who ran on behind me; even when I would scream, when I would hit him, when I would yell at him to leave me alone.

I’d lie if I said I never thought it would last forever. But then, forever was ’till the next time I fell asleep. Now I don’t sleep.

Sometimes I still thinks he needs me. When I look into his big, green eyes; I like to think that this creature needs my awareness to be aware of his own place in nature, his own worth. That’s what it all comes down to, anyways. Seeing something reflected in another human being which you never thought was possible. Something you kept hidden inside like a locked child you were afraid of, being reflected in another. Humans consider these occurrences to be of the highest importance in their lives.

I for one, do not put too many assumptions on myself. I remember to tuck in my dog after he comes to me with his droopy eyes, and I pray to whatever power listens to not let me go chasing storms and finally get to see how a sunflower kisses the sun.


About s_plit

On truth's trail.
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